I feel quite qualified to be talking about this, because I'd basically say that I'm in one of my least favorite places on the entire planet. You may think I'm over exaggerating, and I may be slightly over exaggerating, I'll admit, but it's still pretty bad.
Now, I'm feeling like a bit of a jerk describing my new 'home', but honestly, it frustrates me to no end. I lived in a city about an hour away, and our schools weren't necessarily rivals (this school was in no way good enough to compare to our teams), but they weren't the biggest fans of each other. Last year, my school and entire community was shut down, and most people were moved over here.
This, of course, calls for a lot of tension. The people from the old city are blamed for overpopulation. The people of the old city complain about how annoying it is here and how much better it was there. We form cliques, avoid contact whenever possible with others, and in general don't really like each other. People here want us to just drop the fact that our old city ever existed and get used to it here. I lived in that previous city the longest I've ever lived anywhere, and there is no way I'm just going to pretend it never existed. It was the one place, after moving around my entire life, I was finally able to really call my 'home.' It didn't matter that I made mistake after mistake, that when life started to pick itself up it would throw itself on the ground again, it didn't even matter if for the first quarter of 7th grade I didn't really have any friends. It was home. And no matter what happened, I knew that I could rely on the fact that I'd still be in the same place with my close friends the next day, or week. Whatever the situation, I had people I could rely on.
Moving away changed all of that for me. Suddenly all of the people I had slowly befriended over the years to become very close with my last year were gone. They spread out and left me with a couple not-quite-so-close friends. These not-quite-so-close friends are very nice and I love them all as the awesome human beings they are, but I can't quite trust them like I could trust everybody before. It isn't the same.
Also, there seems to be a lot more stress here. People, though they knew their community would probably double or so, seemed to 'forget' how many people were really moving in. The grocery store is always running out of things and is rarely fully stocked anyways, the shopping center is overly crowded, and don't get me started on the movie theater. It's packed everywhere you go. Housing is packed, the lodge to wait for housing is packed, the school is overly packed... It's pretty horrific.
Still, life goes on. I know that I can't make time move backwards, and I have to accept the fact that this is my new residency, even if I'm not quite yet willing to call it home. I can still talk with the friends that I have and be thankful for everything we do have here that we didn't have in my old school. For example, the band here is large enough for us to play at football games in a Pep Band. In fact, we're going to be marching for our Home-coming game next Friday.
There are more people here that you can befriend, once you come to terms with the fact that you're here. And once you start to meet new people, you can find that they're really not that much different from you. I've found that out about a couple of people here, definitely. You can try to turn around the fact that you're in a terrible new place and try to start anew.
I was known as the pessimistic, miserable soul who was smart, had a bit of a bad attitude, and was very closed off. Now, I've been able to break out of my shell more and can be a bit more cheerful in the way I act. It can be hard, seeing as there are my not-so-close-friends that are kind of confused with the change, but the opportunity to change I've been waiting for for the past 4 years is here. And I can grab hold of it.
I have old friends here that I can share memories with. Most of the time, when I move, I'm simply sharing stories of what happened to me. People see them as just that: stories. It rarely affects their life and it's just amusing anecdotes about this new kid's old lifestyle. Nothing very important. Now, I have friends who were there and experienced it with me. They understand what my thought process was and it excites both of us to be able to discuss these things.
I'm trying to find all of the positive points in my new city so that, even if I can never truly consider it my home (I'll always have my Lion Heart), I can at least accept residency and make the best of it. And who knows? With my awesome friends that I can joke around with and Pep and Jazz Band to help me stay excited with my music, I feel like you can find a form of Paradise on Earth, even if it is in the place you'd least like to be. If you simply search for it, it'll be there, somewhere. And that's exactly what I'm doing. Searching for Paradise.
Until next time,
Beth (not really)
Now, I'm feeling like a bit of a jerk describing my new 'home', but honestly, it frustrates me to no end. I lived in a city about an hour away, and our schools weren't necessarily rivals (this school was in no way good enough to compare to our teams), but they weren't the biggest fans of each other. Last year, my school and entire community was shut down, and most people were moved over here.
This, of course, calls for a lot of tension. The people from the old city are blamed for overpopulation. The people of the old city complain about how annoying it is here and how much better it was there. We form cliques, avoid contact whenever possible with others, and in general don't really like each other. People here want us to just drop the fact that our old city ever existed and get used to it here. I lived in that previous city the longest I've ever lived anywhere, and there is no way I'm just going to pretend it never existed. It was the one place, after moving around my entire life, I was finally able to really call my 'home.' It didn't matter that I made mistake after mistake, that when life started to pick itself up it would throw itself on the ground again, it didn't even matter if for the first quarter of 7th grade I didn't really have any friends. It was home. And no matter what happened, I knew that I could rely on the fact that I'd still be in the same place with my close friends the next day, or week. Whatever the situation, I had people I could rely on.
Moving away changed all of that for me. Suddenly all of the people I had slowly befriended over the years to become very close with my last year were gone. They spread out and left me with a couple not-quite-so-close friends. These not-quite-so-close friends are very nice and I love them all as the awesome human beings they are, but I can't quite trust them like I could trust everybody before. It isn't the same.
Also, there seems to be a lot more stress here. People, though they knew their community would probably double or so, seemed to 'forget' how many people were really moving in. The grocery store is always running out of things and is rarely fully stocked anyways, the shopping center is overly crowded, and don't get me started on the movie theater. It's packed everywhere you go. Housing is packed, the lodge to wait for housing is packed, the school is overly packed... It's pretty horrific.
Still, life goes on. I know that I can't make time move backwards, and I have to accept the fact that this is my new residency, even if I'm not quite yet willing to call it home. I can still talk with the friends that I have and be thankful for everything we do have here that we didn't have in my old school. For example, the band here is large enough for us to play at football games in a Pep Band. In fact, we're going to be marching for our Home-coming game next Friday.
There are more people here that you can befriend, once you come to terms with the fact that you're here. And once you start to meet new people, you can find that they're really not that much different from you. I've found that out about a couple of people here, definitely. You can try to turn around the fact that you're in a terrible new place and try to start anew.
I was known as the pessimistic, miserable soul who was smart, had a bit of a bad attitude, and was very closed off. Now, I've been able to break out of my shell more and can be a bit more cheerful in the way I act. It can be hard, seeing as there are my not-so-close-friends that are kind of confused with the change, but the opportunity to change I've been waiting for for the past 4 years is here. And I can grab hold of it.
I have old friends here that I can share memories with. Most of the time, when I move, I'm simply sharing stories of what happened to me. People see them as just that: stories. It rarely affects their life and it's just amusing anecdotes about this new kid's old lifestyle. Nothing very important. Now, I have friends who were there and experienced it with me. They understand what my thought process was and it excites both of us to be able to discuss these things.
I'm trying to find all of the positive points in my new city so that, even if I can never truly consider it my home (I'll always have my Lion Heart), I can at least accept residency and make the best of it. And who knows? With my awesome friends that I can joke around with and Pep and Jazz Band to help me stay excited with my music, I feel like you can find a form of Paradise on Earth, even if it is in the place you'd least like to be. If you simply search for it, it'll be there, somewhere. And that's exactly what I'm doing. Searching for Paradise.
Until next time,
Beth (not really)
